Thomas Fekete

The Measure of A Man

When faced with the news that Thomas received back in December of 2014, most of us would curl up into a ball and retreat into a corner of self-pity and fear. Not Thomas. He was different. Thomas opened himself up completely after his diagnosis — more so than he had ever before. He wanted to share himself and his story with anyone who would listen, in the hopes that reading his raw and firsthand account would provide insight and strength to anyone dealing with a similar battle.

I was surprised when I woke up late one night after a long chemo day and caught Thomas on his phone, typing away at an email. “Setting up a music equipment trade?” I asked. “No, I’ve made a new friend in Paris. He was diagnosed with sarcoma last month, I’m sending him my protocol, supplement list and contacts, and seeing if he can get his latest scans to me so that I can show them to doc.”

If something made Thomas feel better, he wanted everyone to know about it. If something didn’t work quite so well, better to make it known and save someone else’s precious time. He requested that his team of doctors make him their guinea pig, with a smile, accepting that if something killed him, it was ok because it would end up invaluable knowledge to others who came after.

Thomas’ body started giving up on him at the start of a trip to Mexico that was supposed to be the few months that turned everything around. We didn’t discuss it, but he knew as the ambulance rushed him to a private medic jet that it was not good news to be heading back home after only one week of treatment. But on that flight, you would never know you were in the presence of someone in such a desperate state. He engaged the paramedics and flight crew in stories of his past travels, and asked them about their lives and families, listening with sincere interest. He asked me to pull out a travel guitar he had purchased so excitedly the month before, so he could play for the crew. With no amplification to plug into, one paramedic placed the head of his stethoscope to the body of the guitar, and everyone took their turn listening to Thomas play Zappa through the earpieces. We landed and as I ran through US customs, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was the paramedic, in tears. “A big rule of this job is that you don’t get emotionally involved with the patients. That rule goes out the window for Thomas. In four hours, that man has changed my life forever.”

During his last hospital stay, after two weeks in ICU, it was decided that there was nothing more they could do and Thomas would be moved to palliative care. The nurses who got wind of this banded together and came in to lead a group prayer. Before they could begin, Thomas grabbed the closest hands at either side of the bed, closed his eyes and said, “Lord, in the Bible you said that by the stripes of Jesus, we are healed. I ask that you heal everyone in this room, and then heal me.”

In twenty-seven years, Thomas did more than any of us could even hope to accomplish in our lifetimes. He was an absolute gift. Thomas’ life is proof that a man’s worth is not measured by the things he leaves behind, but in the impact he made on those around him. Thomas left pieces of himself with all of us who knew him, and in that way, his spirit is alive now more than ever.
~ Jessica Fekete

Editors Note: Please donate to Thom’s GoFundMe Page: WE LOVE THOM to help support his wife and family with outstanding medical and funeral expenses. Donate and download Burner from Bandcamp. The translucent blue vinyl from Joyful Noise is currently sold out, but we’re personally hoping they might decide to release a new version each year with fresh packaging and randomness from friends and family to keep the his music flowing to new ears and raise additional funds for others dealing with similar circumstances.

There will be a FREE (Donations PLEASE) Surfer Blood Show In Honor of Thomas Fekete on Saturday, July 2 at Guanabanas. 9pm, 21+. Donations help defray medical costs for Thomas’ family.
Note: This is a separate event from The Celebration of Life for Thomas which will be held on Sunday, July 3rd in Delray Beach. Details for that event can be found online at gofundme.com/welovethomas